Dear General Sherman,
How can I even start to thank you for your incredible influence on not just my life but history as well?
A lot of people think of you as a villain and a douchebag, especially people in the South, which you burned to the ground. During your march from Atlanta to Savannah, you estimated that you had caused over
$100 million in property damage, which isn't surprising considering the fact that you had ordered your troops to live off of the goods they'd pillaged and destroy everything else--after you'd evacuated civilians, of course. Your march up from Savannah was anything but a disappointment: South Carolinans still hate you for burning their capital. You oversaw the biggest Confederate surrender in the Civil War, which is twice as bad ass because you did it
without government consent!
You weren't always the beastly general you came to be, of course. But you proved that you don't have to be conducting a war of attrition in order to keep up your bad ass street cred. In the battle of Shiloh not only were you shot
twice but also had not one, not two, but
three horses shot out from under you. Wow. What a pimp.
Later in life, you said that "War is Hell." I think what you meant to say is: "War is Hell, and I'm the mothafuckin' Devil!" Mad props to you, Cump. Your total disregard for war etiquette allowed for a crippling Confederate defeat, exascerbated by such blatant douchebaggery as presenting the city of Savannah to Lincoln as a Christmas present or your determination to not only defeat the South but
humiliate it.
Thank you, General Sherman, for being such a bad ass. Lots of people think you were crazy, but I just think you're crazy cool.
Your friend,
Will
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Who is your pick for next week's Historical Bad Ass?! The more votes a person gets, the higher the chance he or she will be chosen!
Dear General Sherman,
Comments (2)
I'd have to vote Malcolm X for next week:
"If I have
a cup of coffee that is too strong for me because it is too black,
I weaken it by pouring cream into it. I integrate it with cream. If
I keep pouring enough cream in the coffee, pretty soon the entire
flavor of the coffee is changed; the very nature of the coffee is
changed. If enough cream is poured in, eventually you don't even know
that I had coffee in this cup. This is what happened with the March
on Washington. The whites didn't integrate it; they infiltrated it.
Whites joined it; they engulfed it; they became so much a part of
it, it lost its original flavor. It ceased to be a black march; it
ceased to be militant; it ceased to be angry; it ceased to be impatient.
In fact, it ceased to be a march." (http://www.malcolm-x.org/quotes.htm)
Come on! What do you say to that?
LOL that is insanely bad ass but WAYYYYY too provocative for this site.